Dear God, thank you

As I sat in this morning talk by Ustazah Norhafizah, tears kept pooling up at the corner of my eyes.

"Ya Allah, kau masih mengingati, menyayangi aku walaupun aku ini hanyalah insan kerdil yang banyak melakukan dosa, lagi hina. Betapa banyak aibku tetapi kau tetap bawaku ke jalan yang diredhaiMu. Astagfirullah, SubhanAllah"

I attended today's special talk aptly titled 'Srikandi Idolaku: Saidatina Khadijah & Saidatina Aisyah' at the Yayasan Restu, Shah Alam. The turnout was great although it was held during working hours; from 9.00am-11.00am. As I explained in my Instagram, Yayasan Restu was crawled with cars that some even poured out to the side of the main road. So I ended up parking within the Masjid Shah Alam compound, about 7 minutes walk away from the venue. It was okay for me, as I needed my 10,000 steps anyway.

To be honest, I was still struggling with waking up early and yes, to wake up at 8am today was indeed a challenge for me. I am so used to sleeping at 3am everyday that body sort of got used to it. Usually my normal sleeping routine would be, sleep at 3am or 4am and I will wake up again at 6.45am for a 5-minute Fajr prayer and straight away head back to bed, continuing my sleep. I know, it is bad for my health. No worries, I had a really good wake up call on my health matter earlier this week, which you can read here.

So, since it was a 9 o'clock event, I wind up my alarm clock the night before and had to battle with own body for at least 30 minutes before finally getting up to get ready. I tell you why later. My point is, it took quite an effort from me to get to this morning's event. For me, it was a quite a success the minute I stepped into the auditorium armed with my notepad and pen. 

Every few times a week, I do attend the short classes held by Yayasan Restu every weekday morning. So, I thought the crowd for today's event would be like any normal days during the short classes. Just nice, not too crowded. But oh no, Shah Alam citizens are indeed a bunch of spiritual-conscious people and the entire auditorium was filled to the brim. Ladies, mostly in their late 40s & 50s were seated all over the auditorium and I had to squeezed through a bunch of people before finding a spot for myself. 

The minute Ustazah Norhafizah started her talk, it hit me. 

Here I am, having to battle myself in the morning, had to park my car far away then struggling to get a spot to sit yet as difficult it was, again and again I succeeded and made it possible. All possible because it was fate that allowed me to here today. I was destined to attend this talk, as I was destined to find my path back to God this past few years, as I was destined to start my own business so I would have time and opportunity to attend majlis ilmu such as this. SubhanAllah. 

They started to zikir;

Hasbi rabbi jallallah

Ma fi qolbi ghoirullah

Nur Muhammad sallallah

Haqqul lailahaillallah

Malay translation:-

Cukuplah Tuhan bagiku, Allah yang maha Agung

Tiada dalam hatiku selain Allah

Cahaya Nur Muhammad SAW

Benarlah, Tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah

English translation:-

Allah suffices for me, Allah God Almighty

Nothing in my heart but Allah

Nur (light) of Muhammad peace be upon him

Indeed, There is no God (to worship) but Allah

'Kehebatan Saidatina Khadijah & Aisyah adalah sistem tauhid keyakinan yang kukuh. Tidak ada sedikitpun keraguan langsung kepada Allah.' - Ustazah Norhafizah

MasyaAllah.

After all the years that I have sinned, I have done wrong; never did he ever gave up on me. Somehow, He always lead me back to the rightful path. Dear God, your love for me, for not wanting me to astray for so long is so great that I am ashamed of myself. I am ashamed to you and my Rasul SAW. I do not deserve such love, dear God. Yet you bestow me your guidance. 

Astagfirullah, astagfirullah, astagfirullah. 

Lailahaillallah. 

Dear God, I promise to be istiqamah, I promise to be better. 

I will improve myself slowly but surely, in sha Allah. 

I know I can do better because of the love you have showed me, again and again. 

I will prove to you, dear God, that I deserve to be born as a Muslim and die as a Muslim, in sha Allah. 

I have posted this status shortly in my facebook because knowing how much God loves me moved me greatly. 

"Sometimes you may have everything in the World; wealth, loving family, great career but if you do not have time & health, it doesn't mean anything."

And yes, God has given me all that I need; a bit of wealth, loving family, great career and most importantly, God has given me health, time & opportunity to get closer to Him. Time to learn more about Him from the Al-Quran. Time for me to do more good bidding on earth. To understand that the ultimate recognition in life is only from Him and that death is a convocation to living eternally in akhirat. 

I shall not forsake this opportunity & realisation given by Him, in sha Allah. 

Dreams & Fate

When I was seven, my dad had to fill in my report card and listed my top 3 ambitions as;

1) Policewoman
2) Army
3) Stewardess

If you know me, I bet you will be laughing your hind off by now. But if you don't, let me put simply that I; have never, ever imagined myself doing any of the job above, ever!

I am not the disciplined & fit type and neither am I a law-abiding citizen much. And I am certain that I would not look appealing at all dressed in a uniform.

I do like guns and shooting them but I am not that very, very patriotic that I would want put my life on front row for the sake of my country. Don't get me wrong, I do love Malaysia and I will defend my country anytime but only if I was their last resort.

I love flying and travelling but to service and entertain customers at 35,000 feet in a barely breatheable outfit is really not my ideal job. Me as the customer onboard, anytime. Me serving people onboard, never.

What I dream of becoming was somewhere along the line of journalism, writing and the wonderful world of books. When I was in primary school, I wanted to become a journalist, thanks to Lois Lane. Then as I grew into my teenage years, I wish to become a documentary writer specifically to write about animals.

So it was only natural for me to take up mass-communication when I entered college. But NO, fate intervened and my Dad insisted that I not waste my 'brains' on courses that can be easily taken up by any bimbos. I can still recall why he thought I should not take up Mass-Comm, because apparently after graduating they will not hire me. Why? Because companies will hire ex-stewardess who has longer legs, great looks instead of me.

In the end, after my SPM I finally settled for Degree in Accounting since it is a professional course that will never go wrong, it will only take me 3 years to graduate and because all companies will need an accountant hence an increase in job opportunity for me.

Also, because my Dad was paying for my tuition fees so he has a say in how I should charter my life.

Off I went at the age of 18 pursuing my tertiary education in Australia. Yes, I was excited for the opportunity to study abroad and eventually I buried my dream of ever becoming a writer deep inside me.

However, fate is a funny thing.
Throughout my years of studying, I noticed how most of the electives I selected were written base; i.e. marketing communication, marketing research, economics etc. Subconsciously, my desire to write was still burning, although slowly but surely.

After graduation, I did 'pay my dues' and worked at a prestigious accounting firm for less than a year before announcing to my parents that it was not working out for me. Accountancy was never my passion. I had to do it for my Dad, so I did it. My true passion still harbours around becoming a writer.

So I started applying for jobs as communication executive, marketing executive, PR assistant and any related career path that will eventually allowed me to write and talk. It was not easy since my background was totally 1800 different from the requirements listed in the jobs I have applied for. Thankfully, God was merciful and one day I received a call telling how I was accepted. But the CEO insisted that I go through a series of courses to provide my much needed basic in the area.

I am ever grateful for the breakthrough that I got back in 2008. But this also further strengthens the fact that if you are passionate enough and if you want something so badly that you will do anything to get it, in the end....you will get it.

The key here is passion. How much you are willing to work hard for it. True grit.

Why am I telling you this?
Because one day, one fine day, I will realise my dream and become a WRITER, in sha Allah.


 

War Against Selfie!

Petaling Jaya & Georgetown Penang listed in the World's Top 10 'Selfiest' Cities

Whoa.
Should I be proud since I am a PJ girl? Or should I be embarrassed with the number of narcissistic, self-obsessed people we have in PJ?!

The survey conducted by Times Magazine was based in images downloaded via Instagram API, for pictures tagged #selfie. Although not that pretty accurate but nevertheless I was shocked to learn that not only Malaysia has TWO cities listed in top 10, but also the fact that PJ ranked 3rd after New York City! Oh boy aren't we a bunch of super self-absorb human?!

Frankly, I DO have something against 'selfie' or self-taken-picture-of-oneself. For one, I hate it when I was enjoying my morning coffee checking our my newsfeed and I accidentally scroll over a konon cun selfie that focusses on the face, yes, THE FACE. And BAM! a ginormous eyes, nose and mouth comes face to face with you that made you almost jumped out of your skin and knock off your coffee! It is scary as hell I tell you! Not cool okay.

In all honesty, no one cares how good/bad you look like. WE DON'T CARE. Especially in the morning. Puh-leaseeeee! Send it to your mom or your boyfriend whatever but please safe all of us from the torture of an almost-heart-attack having to see you closed up like that. We do not want to know where your zits are and neither do we want to study your face real close. God!

However, we can understand and tolerate the once-in-a-while selfie because deep down inside everybody crave for attention and your 2-minute fame but NOT the Everyday, Every Hour, Every Minute selfie okay?! Ridiculous. I tell ya', if we are in the 1800 era, you would definitely be locked up in a cuckoo house for having that much picture of yourself in such a short period of time. Crazinesss I tell you.

You know what's worst?
These loons even revisit their selfie picture just to check the number of likes or double tapped they received from their 'friends' & 'fans'. And tomorrow, the same story all over again. *Sigh*

Bring me a picture of a cat anytime but NEVER a SELFIE of some obnoxious, pouty lips girl who thinks she is some modern day Mona Lisa that is a compulsory for people to admire her work of art.

Shoot me somebody, shoot me quick!

Reflection & Mssing Malaysian Plane MH370

Firstly, let us take a minute and #prayforMH370
Al-Fatihah

We are blessed with technology but being human, we are never grateful for what we have, wanting better gadgets better tools to aid us in our daily life. We take all these God given knowledge, ideas and ability to create for granted. And so have I.

Back in 2011/12 when I was still working for a corporation, I had to travel for work. Never has it occur to me that life was always at stake doing so. Heck, life was always at stake everyday of our breathing life. Scary isn't it?!

Our life, we depend wholly on machines. Alarm clock, toaster, coffee machine, car, LRTs, traffic light, computer, mobile phone, electricity. Yes, our generation is so spoiled that we are so-dependable on these creations. Unfortunately, we all know that machines will fail you one day. Computer will crash, toaster will burnt your bread, traffic light goes out of order, cars needs maintenance.

What if one day, these technology took over us. Look at Matrix for example. Okay, may not be the best example but I watched in on HBO last night, hence the idea to write this post. Just bear with me, what if one day the table turned and we would be controlled by these machines? We have plenty of ideas how life would be like if the tables do turned. Also thanks to all the American sci-fi movie for shedding light on this matter.

My point is this, why do we need them so much if you know it will eventually fail?
Because we are lazy-cows who prefer luxury over hard work. Yes, that is it. Why meet up when we can chat or video conference? Why boil your own water and make your own coffee? Why walk to the nearest convenience store when you can drive?

I admit, that technology are necessary at times. But sometimes, I feel it is essential that we remind ourselves what it feels like to be a human, with limits. Let us start to enjoy the little things we forget; like smelling the coffee your poured yourself into your own cup, Or catching up with friends and laugh instead of texting them, and many more.

Enjoy them; for life is too short.

----

God is Almighty.
It is from Him that we have all of the technology we have today.
He shall give but he can also take it back.
With all the great ships, planes and latest technology we have yet we still could not locate the missing MH370.

It has been 3 days and no luck as yet.
I pity the family of those onboard MH370 especially learning that one of the passenger was an Officer from MITI. I may not know him, but I picture myself in his seat, off for duty serving the country.

It could have been me, It could have been you. It could have been anybody.
Tears welled up whenever I imagine how sad my parents would be if it was me in that plane. All geared up for work, excited to be meeting foreign people and make new friends, a new chapter in life. Never suspecting that fate has planned otherwise.

I thank God once in a while. But not all the time.
I hope he knows that I AM grateful for the blessed life he gives me.
And I think henceforth, it is my duty to remember him for all the good & bad things that happened in my life. The good for it makes me happy, the bad for it teaches me a lesson.

Syukur Alhamdulillah, syukur Alhamdulillah, syukur Alhamdulillah.

I pray for MH370 to be located soon. I pray that God will give the family strength & patience.
This is indeed a mystery. One that only God has the answers to.

What Happened to our Malaysian Graduates?!

I recently placed an advertisement for a Sale Assistant vacancy in my shop, #tigerlilybags in Shah Alam. It goes like this...

 ------
Pembantu Jualan di Butik Bag (Full Time)

Syarat-syarat:- Perempuan, warganegara Malaysia
18-26 tahun
SPM level ke atas
Mempunyai kenderaan sendiri

Sila berikan Nama, Umur & Asal dari mana ke:-
013-xxxxxxx sms/whatsapp sahaja

 -----

Since this is one of those fruitful months when you can easily get staff, the minute the advert was up my phone started buzzing and beeping. Some called me up, totally ignoring my strict instruction of "SMS or Whatsapp only!". I don't know why but people now days jump to conclusion in a jiffy without ACTUALLY READING the instructions correctly. This irked me like nobody's business. For me, if simple instruction such as this you failed to take note and follow, what would happen if you DO work for me, it would be a disaster I tell you!

Very, very NOT cool. -__-

Besides that, some candidates even ignored the fact that I specifically highlighted the age, gender requirements and that they should have their own mode of transportation. I know, I know, this is not good recruitment practice but in my defense, this is for their own good & I am not the only employer guilty of doing so ;) Before you pester the small fish, why don't you straighten up the big guys first, no?

I started calling them up for interview session and surprise, surprise...out of let say 5 candidates who confirmed their interview appointment, only half showed up. Yes, 50% only. Sad eh? This is how un-professional our candidates are but hey, who am I to complain. Somehow, these silly candidates find it morally okay to waste people's time like that. Don't even get me started on 'Amanah'.

To know if you're going to be hired by me is easy; if the interview session is lengthy & 'extensive' means I am interested in hiring you. And if it was quick & brief means that I'm not interested. A little tip for future interviewees, please DO 'sell' yourself during the session. It is your only ticket to get a call for the second session. Keep it interesting but not obnoxious.

So, while conducting the interviews I noticed the overwhelming number of degree graduates AND MASTER graduates applying for the post. YES, a measly Shop Assistant post! And they are fighting for it! Good gracious, how bad is the recession & inflation in Malaysia?!

When asked why the decided to pursue their MBAs, MBEs, or Master in some courses, the common answer I received was; 'We couldn't get a decent job so we continued studying'. Whoa, this is sad. When I asked them why don't they grab any job first than slowly apply for a more suitable job later, their simple answer to that is that the pay was NOT good enough for them. And I am baffled. I was itching to say that Beggers can't be choosy but refrained myself from doing so cause;- a) they might NOT get me T__T b) it is kind of mean.

After probing further into their personal life, I finally concluded the common causes why these graduates are unemployed:-

1) They simply picked/was forced to choose a course that I would call it 'Course Lelong' or the neither-here-nor-there courses. Often time its a combination of 2 courses that doesn't make sense. E.g.: Science Management. So, are you studying science or management??? And what do you intend to be once you graduated managing scientist? No offense but you have to admit that it is pretty vague.

2) They took a course they didn't like and got stuck with it. They have no intention to work within the field/industry they studied in and it doesn't help that the course was not a 'flexible' course that allows them to go to different paths. However, there are cases of people who did have a career in a totally different industry yet succeeded. Take Chef Wan for example, an accountant turned Chef.

3) Demotivated, Lack of Guidance from family. Most of the candidates I have interviewed not only that they do NOT have a goal in life but to make it worst, they do NOT even have the support and guidance. And let's face it, Malaysian students are so used to being spoon-fed that eventually they became too-relying and could not stand & think independently. Yes, we were colonised once, boo-hoo but get over it and start standing on your own two feet for heaven's sake!

4) Carefree, Delusional Idealistic Choosy. Unfortunately, most of our gradutates were painted a pretty picture of how working life should look and feel like. Thus, they seek such fantasy career path and to worsen it the local Malay dramas doesn't help with this either. They assume that the perfect job means sitting behind a great oak desk, doing some paper work, happily punching their keyboards and punch out at 5pm! So when they saw what is in it for them in real life, not so sugary and fun; they chickened out.

5) Wants to straight away jump into starting their own business/ wants to be their own boss. Honey, experience and networking doesn't come from the books. You need to pay your dues first, earn it the hard way. Yes, there are people who succeeded in doing so but I tell you frankly it will take true grit to rise above the others.

There, I said it. I might hurt some people's feeling for this but for me this needs to be addressed. Enough is enough. Stop cultivating delusional robots. Stop spoon-feeding them with picture perfect working life that they get a shocked when faced with the reality of life. Life is no pie.

On a lighter note, I did take in a few Master graduates as my Shop Assistant partially because I pitied them but also because they are willing to learn and demonstrated how much they want the job. Kasihan, working so hard for a Master and can't even use it to apply for work.

However, I did warned them, and I warned them hard...that they are not going to ROT here forever. I am a big believer in having a purpose in life, so I promised to guide them and share my experience with them as much as I can but they need get back on track soonest possible and get a proper job pronto! One the reflects their effort & qualification.

It saddens me how tragic our graduates have become today. I hope my task, albeit small will trigger something in them. In sha Allah...

So do you belong in any of the above category?